by Dean Cortez, creator of MackTactics.com
Every guy wants to know how to get more dates, and how to meet single girls. But one of the most overlooked elements of seduction is knowing how to carry on a great conversation. When it comes to conversing with a girl, give a guy enough rope and he’ll usually hang himself!
What this means is, when a guy starts talking to a girl — and he DOESN’T use strategy — with every passing moment, the chances increase that he’ll say something that causes her to lose interest.
Most guys screw up conversations with girls ALL THE TIME and never realize where they are going wrong!
They’re not saying anything INSULTING or OFFENSIVE… but, they mention something, or bring up a topic, that causes her to think, “hmmm, I was starting to like this guy, but on second thought…”
So, the girl terminates the conversation, and he assumes that she must be a “bitch,” or she must have a boyfriend.
Instead of realizing that HE messed it up, he blames it on the woman…
And the sad truth is, IF the guy had used Strategic Conversation, he could have scored with her! She was INTO HIM for the first five minutes, but then he went off on a tangent about something (complaining about his job, for example), and her interest in him COOLED OFF.
My point is, you’ve got to use STRATEGY and a GAME PLAN when you talk to women.
She’s not going to realize of this! On the surface, it feels like a fun, interesting conversation…
Beneath the surface, however, you are using strategies that are designed to bolster her attraction.
Now, when I say “Strategic Conversation,” I’m not just talking about the things you SHOULD say. It also means the things you should NOT say.
And, it definitely means spending most of the time LISTENING, and encouraging her to keep sharing — rather than YOU talking about yourself.
You want to maintain an “element of mystery” that frames you as a prize she needs to WIN. (This is a different approach from the one most men take, because they view HER as the prize they must pursue!)
So for starters, STOP telegraphing your interest.
This means, DON’T do any of the things that make it OBVIOUS that you’re sexually interested in her.
Why? Because when you make your interest obvious, you are no longer a CHALLENGE.
She KNOWS she can have you. You, along with the only 34 guys in the bar who are eager to come talk to her!)
You may be telegraphing your sexual interest to women without even realizing it…
Some examples would be :
- Offering to buy her a drink right away.
- Telling her how beautiful she is.
- Introducing yourself by name immediately.
- Acting nervous or hostile if another guy enters her space.
- Obviously trying to impress her. (Talking about money, your big career, your new car, your amazing social life… ALL of these things can be communicated WITHOUT telegraphing interest.)
- Crowding her space and trying to monopolize her attention.
This first conversation should be considered a “recon mission.” You’re letting her talk, and processing what she says through your mental computer.
You are gathering INTELL on her and using it to guide the conversation to a DEEPER LEVEL.
You’re also being UNPREDICTABLE. You’re not following the normal, safe “job interview” approach — you are phrasing your questions and statements in interesting ways that make her THINK and SHARE.
When you tells you about her job, ask her if this is a field she’s passionate about. Does she see herself doing this for the long-term?
I like to ask girls, “If you won the lottery tomorrow and never had to work again, how would you spend your time?”
Then tell her briefly about YOUR passions… the things in your life you deeply care about, and are committed to.
Another great topic is TRAVEL. Mention a cool country, or a city, that you’re been to. Ask her if she’s been there — then ask her about HER favorite travel spots, and where she’d want to live if she could.
Also, you want to TEASE her once in a while. Most guys just nod their heads and agree with everything a woman says. They’re AFRAID to contradict her!
They think by acting this way, the girl is supposed to feel she’s “compatible” with him.
Well, she’s not going to think this. She’s only going to think that he is BORING and UNORIGINAL. He also does not offer any VALUE.
You, on the other hand, want to convey to women that you’re a busy, active, interesting guy who has HIGH STANDARDS.
In other words, if YOU are going to spend time with a girl, she needs to be UP TO YOUR LEVEL.
So here’s an example of WEAK conversation :
HIM: “So what do you do?”
HER: “I’m a teacher.”
HIM: “Oh, that’s cool… so have you been to this bar before?”
HER: “No, it’s my first time.”
HIM: “Oh, ok.”
(Awkward pause, as he fidgets and sips his beer… and she checks
her watch… )
Now here’s an example of STRATEGIC conversation…
Instead of asking a cliche question like, “what do you do for a living,” you put an ORIGINAL SPIN on it…
HIM: “I’m going to guess that you’re an ambitious type of person, and you’re very focused on your career right now… but there are some other things you wish you had more time to pursue.”
HER: “Well actually, yes. I’m a law school.
HIM: “Let me ask you a question, and be honest. If you won the lottery tomorrow — a hundred million dollars — and you never had to work again, how would you spend your time?”
HER: “Haha. I’d probably move to some tropical island.”
HIM: “Where would that island be?”
HER: “I dunno, the Carribbean I guess.”
HIM: “I love the Carribbean. You’ve spent a lot of time there?”
HER: “I went there on vacation last year.”
HIM: “What are your other favorite travel spots?”
HER: “Hmm. I haven’t really done a lot of traveling.”
HIM: “Well I’ll tell you right now, if you’re going to date a guy like me, we’re going to need to go on some adventures. I can't wait to get back to Italy. It's one of my favorite countries… “
So you see, by using strategic phrasing, I’ve opened the door to an interesting, deep conversation that can go in many different directions.
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been to Italy, or whether she’s a lawyer or a cocktail waitress. The idea is to use conversation as a TOOL to open up doors and get her to bond with you over interesting topics.
We can talk about PASSION… our GOALS… TRAVEL … and because I’ve done quite a bit of traveling, I can offer value to her. I let her know (in a playful way), if she dates a “guy like me,” she’s going to see the world.
This is just one example. Whether your goal is to pick up girls in bars, or take your friendship with a woman to a romantic level, these skills are essential. Once you understand the PRINCIPLES of Strategic Conversation, you’re going to know exactly how to guide things along. The more you practice these tactics, the more natural it feels.
Soon, you’ll be walking up to women and TOTALLY engaging their interest… not because of your looks, but because of the WORDS you use to capture her imagination.
Just remember, the key is to SPARK her interest with good topics, and then LISTEN and BOND with her.
Final tip: Use “Minimal Encouragers” to keep her talking and sharing :
“Hmmm, that’s really interesting. Tell me more…”
“Yeah, I can see why you feel that way…”
“That’s an interesting idea, how did you come up with that?”
“I can tell we definitely have some things in common…”
Remember, you can CONTROL the conversation by bringing up topics
and using “strategic phrasing” to keep her talking.
But, don’t DOMINATE the conversation. Listen, appreciate what she is saying, and keep guiding it along into new areas.
(Don’t hesistate to switch topics if the current topic is running out of steam. Get her thoughts on it, share your thoughts, and then move on — YOU are in the driver’s seat.)
The Mack Tactics program includes dozens of topics and techniques that are designed to give you bulletproof “conversation game” with women. You’ll know how to talk to girls in a way that stimulates massive curiosity and attraction.
Learn them, use them, and have fun with them!
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