Making Up Again!

The dating secrets I’m about to share with you are quite different from what most people believe. It’s not about going for dinner and behaving like the perfect gentleman.

Don’t be surprised.

Sure, that kind of advice might be great for making new friends, but the rules for dating work very differently. By contrast, dating is about stimulating a feeling of attraction in the woman you are with. And so if you wish to succeed, you’ll need to make a few changes.

Discover more dating advice by going to First Date Tips

Now, here are 5 tips to improve your results on a first date:

1) Give Dinner A Miss

Learn this lesson well. For the first date, you need to keep it fun. This way she’ll associate the feeling of enjoying herself with spending time with you.

And by doing something that is adventurous, this will be far easier for you to achieve. Most of the time, you do NOT want to meet her for dinner. Because doing the typical ‘same old dinner date’ is far too predictable, you’ll face the added pressure of being treated like a ‘couple’ by the restaurant staff, and if it’s quiet there’ll be loads of uncomfortable silences too. There’s also the added risk of you not getting on with each other, and having to wade through an entire meal wishing you weren’t there.

Hardly an enjoyable experience.

Try these first date tips and do something else instead. Maybe head out to a party together with your friends, go for a coffee, or consider something more active.

2) Stop Trying To “Buy” Her

Avoid showing up with flowers or chocolates (or any other gift) for the first date. When you bring presents, it can seem like you’re trying to ‘buy’ her, which can make her feel uneasy.

Never do that again.

Keep in mind that you arrive as equals, no matter how attractive she is. All you need is a fun attitude and a relaxed approach.

QUICK: If you have a minute, visit here now to discover even more dating advice: First Date Advice

3) Avoid Trying to “Impress”

Doing everything you can to impress a woman is a bad idea on a first date. This all comes down to a principle in psychology called “The Law of Reversed Effect”. In a nutshell, this law means that trying to force yourself into impressing a woman will more likely end up a miserable disaster.

To tell the truth, just be as relaxed as possible and stop putting pressure on yourself.

4) Stop “Playing It Safe”

Similar to the point made above, most guys try much too hard to earn a woman’s approval. They mostly try to “play it safe” by saying only what she want’s to hear, and not risking any comments that might cause offense.

Never do this ever gain.

Any effort to “play it safe” will be seen as lame and spineless by the woman you’re with. Hardly very appealing to women. She’ll be far more interested in you if you show a confident attitude and take the lead.

5) You Be The One To End The Date ‘Early’

This final tip needs some explaining. Particularly if the first date has been a success. Bottom line, it’s best to end a first date when it feels a little ‘too soon’.

Why would you do this?

Well, when you leave the date on a ‘high note’, she’ll remember your first date as fun and exciting, and she’ll be very keen to meet up for date number ‘two’.

So that concludes these secrets for first date success. Try them out for yourself and notice the difference they make.

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Think carefully before you ask a question on a first date.

Very often guys get nervous about the way the date is going. They get very hung up on ensuring the girl is impressed. And yet they’re simultaneously doing all they can to make sure they don’t mess everything up.

As a result, they just ask question after question to keep the girl talking, just so they don’t risk saying something to make the girl unhappy. But this just leads to one massive amount of disappointment – And we’ll unravel the reasons why in a matter of moments.

The key point to draw from this is: Concentrate on more than simply what questions to ask her.

Here’s why:

Get all your first date questions answered by going to Questions To Ask On A Date

Consider how things are from her point of view: If all she gets from you is questions, it will cease to feel like a date, and more like an inquisition! What’s enjoyable about that?

Also, how on earth will she get to know you if you hardly say anything? If you’re not willing to talk about yourself, then why should she bother sharing information?

Stop believing the way forward is to to ask loads of questions during a date. You can do a lot better, and here are some great suggestions:

Tease Her Playfully

Making a woman feel good about herself is one of the very best things you can do. And one way to achieve this is by being playful and teasing her. And what’s the best way to respond if she’s nervous and directs a bunch of questions at you? Same deal. Simply continue to tease her and make your answers playful. For instance, say she asks, “Are you seeing other women?”, you can respond with, “No – Other men”.

Most guys will go to their graves never knowing the right questions to ask on a date. But you can have an “unfair advantage” over other men once you learn the truth about how to attract and seduce women: First Date Tips

Should this be interpreted as meaning you can’t ask a single question on a 1st date? Of course you can ask some questions. The right kind of questions are a great way to demonstrate interest in her, and prove that you’re listening to what she has to say. You might ask questions like:

“What would be the first place you would visit if you could travel anywhere?” Or, “Can you remember what you wanted to be when you were growing up?”

Above all else, you want to get yourself in a playful state of mind and simply have fun. The two of you will have so much more fun if you stick to these simple guidelines.

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by Dean Cortez, creator of the Mack Tactics Dating System For Men

* * * * *

Dear Dean,

A few nights ago I applied the approach tactics from your book, met a hottie at a nightclub, and easily got her phone number. I've made plans with her to meet up tomorrow night. I’ve got the whole evening mapped out: I’ll take her for cocktails at a classy lounge, then dinner at the best sushi restaurant in town, then dancing at a nightclub.

To me, that sounds like an awesome time, but my buddy Greg says it’s going overboard. He says you should never spend more than $40 on a first date and that I should meet her for drinks at a bar, and keep it real casual.

What do you think? This is a hot, classy girl and I’m sure she is used to guys treating her very well.

- Eli, California

* * * * *

Dean Cortez here. This is a solid question. How much should you be willing to invest in a first date? In order to impress her, should you pull out all the stops? Or should you spend as little as possible until you’ve sealed the deal with her?

One thing is certain. No guy wants to spend his hard-earned money on chicks who give us a hug or handshake good night, and then say they're too busy to hang out again.

This will never be the outcome if you use the correct Mack Tactics. First, know this: the amount you spend on the date is not going to improve your chances of scoring. Actually, I found in the past that the more money I spent on a first date, the less chance I had of scoring with her that night.

On the other hand, when I meet up with a girl for a couple of drinks, at a casual bar/lounge — and wind up spending less than $20 on the “date” — I can bring her home 90% of the time and close the deal with her.

If it's a daytime meet, I. The NEXT time I see her, it will be for dinner and wine at my place… and then I know I’m hooking up.  

A lot of guys ask me where to take a girl on a date. My first rule for first date fun is that it needs to be an environment where you’ll both be comfortable, and where you’ll be able to manage the conversation, build the connection, and escalate the situation towards intimacy. (Shouting over the music in a crowded nightclub is not the way to do this. Taking her to the movies is also a lame idea, since you can’t converse and work your Tactics.)

Back when I was less experienced, I’d ask a girl out and take her out on the town. It was typical for me to spend over $100 on the evening, and I usually wound up disappointed. The more money I spent, the more I expected, and if I didn’t get some play at the end of the night I considered the date a failure.

Yet I kept following this same routine with other women. I thought spending big on dates was the price of playing the “game.”

These days, when I take a girl on a first date, we go for drinks at one of several cool, casual lounges I’ve chosen as my “date spots.” These are comfortable environments where we can settle down on a couch and talk privately, and where the staff knows me, welcomes me, and provides excellent service.

If she’s hungry, we order appetizers. My bill is never more than $30 or $40. But because I’m completely focused on her and building the connection, and guiding the conversation to all the right areas, these dates are nearly always a success.

The other thing you need to know is, when you take her out on an extravagant date, while you’re still in the “getting to know each other” phase, it can backfire on multiple levels.

When you drop $150 on a dinner date at a nice restaurant, you're not impressing her. The money you are spending is NOT making her feel any more attraction to you. In fact, you are probably DIMINISHING her attraction.

Why? Because when you spend that kind of money, you’re making it obvious that you are sexually interested in her. It's clear that you are into her, and by spending money you're trying to prove that you are worthy of her.

As I explain in detail in the Mack Tactics book, when you telegraph your interest to a woman this way, she loses interest — because she doesn’t view you a challenge. There’s no mystery. No sexual tension. She knows she can have you if she wants you. This makes you common, ordinary, and uninteresting.

Regarding the letter from the guy above, I’m sure his “hot, classy girl” has been wined and dined by a lot of suckers. And she did NOT put out for them, for the reasons I mentioned. Why go down that same path? Why not take an original approach that works?

The other thing is, as you’re sitting there having an expensive dinner with her, she’s probably thinking, “If he’s spending this much cash, he must EXPECT something from me. He probably thinks I’m going to sleep with him tonight, but there’s NO WAY I’m going to do that, because then he’ll think he can ‘buy’ me…”

At the same time, the guy is sitting there thinking, “I better get more than a kiss on the cheek after all this! She just ordered a friggin’ $25 entree!”

And so, underneath the surface, neither person is all that comfortable with the situation because it’s been burdened with pressures and expectations. Plus, the girl KNOWS the guy is eager to please her, and so she’s tuning out and losing interest. He’s no challenge.

The bigger point here is that when you wine and dine a girl, it’s obvious you’re trying to impress her. You’re telegraphing your interest. As a Mack, you need to make a fundamental shift in your attitude towards dating: when you take a girl out, it’s her chance to impress YOU. Think of it like you’re granting her an audition. If she passes the audition, she earns a spot on your team. Never go into a date hoping that you’ll pass HER test.

Women get excited and aroused by a guy who seems like a CHALLENGE. You are a highly skilled Mack. The aura you project is that you could be anywhere tonight, with any number of beautiful women, but you’re granting her some of your precious time because you’re interested in getting to know her. That’s the Mack attitude.

Another note: no matter what, you are obligated to pick up the check. A lot of women nowadays, due to feminism, will act like they want to split the check. But really, she does not expect to pay her share. Her “polite offer” is really a test. If you allow her to chip in, you look cheap and inexperienced with the ways of dating, and you’re dead in the water.  

When you pick up the check, do it with style. Make her think that she earned the drinks, or the meal, because she provided good company.

“No, put your money away—tonight’s my treat. It's not often that I meet a girl who I can have such a fun, interesting conversation with. We’ll have to do this again, there’s another great place I want to show you next time.”

That last statement—“we’ll have to do this again”—carries an implication as well. You’re implying that if things wind up back at your place tonight, it’s not going to be a one-night stand. You’re interested in possibly furthering the relationship and you’ve already planted the seed for a future date. (Whether you go out with her again is, of course, up to you.) This is designed to set her mind at ease about hooking up with you.  

Finally, as we teach in the “Closing the Deal” chapter of the Mack Tactics book, you’ve got to man up and take this date as far as the situation will allow. If the vibe is right, and the romantic connection is building, suggest going back to your place.

You need to give her a "cloaking motive": a reason why you are bringing her there. It could be a CD from an artist that you both like, and you want to play it for her. It might a DVD or a video on your computer that you mentioned earlier. Maybe it's some pictures you want to show her from a recent trip you went on. It might be something new you bought for your home that you want her opinion on. This motive needs to involve something you told her about earlier, and she seemed interested in.

Make sure to plant that seed during the conversation, so that the suggestion feels natural when you make it later in the evening: “I know you’re a huge Prince fan and I have this amazing DVD of one of his concerts. Let’s go to my place and watch it, I’ve also got some excellent wine I think you’ll enjoy.” 

This isn’t mean to trick her; you’re both consenting adults, and when the date moves back to your place, she knows the deal. But women are highly sensitive about being perceived as “easy.” You’ve got to provide this motive in order to make her feel comfortable with herself… so that she can then get cozy with you.

For 101 tactics and techniques on how to turbo-charge your dating game and enjoy massive success with women, visit MackTactics.com and download our free book -- "The S.W.A.T. Guide” (Secret Weapons & Attraction Tactics).

Your Wingman,

Dean Cortez

MackTactics.com

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 by Dean Cortez, MackTactics.com

* * * * *

Hey Dean,

I decided to finally break up with my (now ex) girlfriend. She’d been totally controlling and manipulating me for the past four years. Anyway, I’m back on the singles scene now, and hoping for the best. I met a really hot girl at a work function and asked her out. But I’ll admit I’m rusty with the “first date” stuff, I’ve been off the scene for a long time. Do you have any suggestions?

- Eric, New York City 

* * * * * 

In order to pull off the ultimate first date, create deep attraction, and hopefully steer things back to your place at the end of the night, you’re going to have to use the methods and conversation strategies that we explain in our book. But for starters, there are some fundamental first date tips for men to always remember:

* Keep your spending to a minimum. On a first date, never try to win her over by spending money. This puts you in the wrong position. Maintain the attitude that this is her chance to sell herself to YOU, not the other way around. Meet her for coffee (not at a Starbucks — find a cool, out-of-the-way, comfortable coffee shop for dates). Or, meet her for drinks. Skip the places that everyone knows, and find “date locations” that will show her you’re an original type of guy who knows the cool “off the radar” spots. 

BONUS TIP: Make her feel extra special by saying to her, “This is one of my favorite places. I think of it as my private sanctuary, I never bring anyone here. But I knew you’d enjoy it, so I wanted to show it to you…”

* Have a backup plan. The place you’ve selected could be closed for renovations, her ex-boyfriend might work there, who knows. Have a Location B in mind that you can bring her to, if necessary. The Mack is a man of action, and always has a complete plan.

* Plan on keeping the date brief. For a first meeting, 1-2 hours is usually perfect. You want an escape hatch in case she doesn’t meet your standards. (Never plan some all-day activity with a girl until you’re certain you want to spend that much time with her.) Also, unless you’re confident that you can take her home at the end of the night, it’s better to cut things short and create the sense that your time is precious and limited.

You should be the one to decide when the date ends. (“Well I’ve got a huge day tomorrow, I need to be up bright and early…we’ll have to do this again soon.”) Don’t stretch things out so that she’s the one checking her watch and telling you she needs to get home. End the date on a high point, before things start winding down, and plan on sealing the deal the next time you see her. As the greatest entertainers in showbiz know, you’ve always got to “leave ‘em wanting more.”

* Always be punctual. Don’t be slightly late on purpose; it sets the wrong tone. Make sure you know the directions to the location, and arrive 10 minutes early so that you’re totally prepared.

* Dress appropriately. It’s always better to be a little overdressed than underdressed. You can  be sure she’s going to dress well for the date. She’ll feel uncomfortable if you roll in wearing a tee-shirt and shorts.

* Let her do most of the talking. Ask questions that prompt her to open up and share with you. You want to maintain the mindset that this is her opportunity to impress YOU. It’s better to be vague and cultivate a sense of mystery around yourself, than to tell her your life story within the first two hours. Keep the spotlight on her. The more details she shares with you, and the more you seem to appreciate what she’s saying, the more it feels to her like a connection is building. This elevates you beyond the average guy, who treats every first date as if he’s auditioning for the position of her boyfriend, and feels he needs to “sell himself” by talking himself up.

Visit MackTactics.com for many more tips for first dates, including ideas for first dates things to do. You’ll also get a complete, step-by-step system for becoming massively attractive and confident with women.

Your Wingman,

Dean Cortez

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Most of the dating advice in magazines and on TV is for women to improve their dating lives.You see a majority of the advice directed to helping women with dating.  For example, when it comes to how dating is perceived, dating is something that is being portrayed as a very feminine thing to be involved in.  The female is depicted as having a lot of thought and emotion about dating while the may is portrayed as just being there.  Well it is about time that there were dating tips for guys and so we offer this free online dating advice.

Do your best to be yourself and show off your true self…as long as you're not a wimp

Be yourself is an often repeated tip - just as long as you don't come across as wimpy and lacking in confidence.Contrary to popular belief, all women do not think like the girls on Sex And The City.  If you get only one thing out of these tips be sure that it is to be yourself.  There is nothing worse than creating a false character when you meet someone and then trying to keep that façade up for the many months to come.Just be yourself - strong, confident, funny, and interesting.

It pays to be a gentleman

While many women like to be strong and independent, you can still show some acts of chivalry like opening the door and holding out their seat when you sit down for dinner.  Even the most modern woman still likes the door held open for them and the car brought around to where they are.A kind gesture on your part should not offend even the most feminist woman.  So remember that chivalry is definitely not dead.

Women can pay for the dates too

If a woman insists on paying for something in a date then let her pay.Do not discourage when a woman wants to pay, you can take turns.Be a good listener is advice that never runs false.  Get more free dating advice

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