Making Up Again!

Statistically it is not men that elect to end a relationship, it seem more common for women bring a relationship to a close.  Like most relationship breakdowns the reasons for it’s demise are not always known, but the signs are always there!  If your relationship has ended then it may be possible that she was not the one for you.  Knowing the reasons for the end of your relationship can be essential to your personal growth.  This is called “closure” by Psychologists, by allowing us to understand the cause and move on with our lives.

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With this in mind, here are just a few of the reasons why women dump men:

We Grew Apart

At the start your relationship it may have been great however you may not have been fated to be together forever as is the case for many couples.  You may find your own interests and likes and dislikes changing or moving in opposite directions to your partners and because of this your relationship is not as solid as it once was.  Or maybe you’ve gotten to know each other a little better and realised you don’t have all that much in common.

The most common reason for your partner to end a relationship, as harsh as it sounds may be because they do not see a life with you.

Needing to Respect their man

The relationship can also end if either party looses respect for the other.  It’s good to remember that attraction works in various ways for women than it does for men.  While women are attracted to good-looking men, they are also attracted to men who can provide them with long-term security and an idea of what the future might hold.  She may feel that the relationship does not have a long term future with that person if they are not showing they want to be a part of her future.

Insecure Girlfriend

The ability to provide a good quality life is very useful in starving of insecurity in your girlfriend.  If you cannot provide this quality of life or goal to provide it, she may decide to end the relationship.  This may seem all a little old fashioned however that is not what it is about, it is about having the desire to provide for the relationship and support each other.

Do you want to know more about Insecure Partners

Stress

Stress is also a contributing factor in the ending of relationships.  A woman may be very busy – feeling that she would prefer to ease the pressure on her life by removing her relationship from the equation.  It is important to understand that her priorities may not be in the same place as yours and to respect her decision.

In respecting her decision to end the relationship and providing her with the space and support, you are keeping the door open for her to return to you, when she is ready.

In the end, there are an limitless number of reasons why she left.  It could be that yours was not destined to last, all relationships grow differently, perhaps you need to try something different to rebuild what you once had.  It is important to remember it is not anyone’s fault and not to lay blame.  If your relationship has ended and you cannot get back together then it is best to just move on and leave it to be.  Also remember: there’s always a better girl out there. You’ll meet ‘The one’ one day, when you are ready.  If it has ended and you are looking for the next step then here it is. 

Try to work out what went wrong with the relationship and sometimes this can mean looking at what you may have done wrong, after all you cannot change the other person but you can change yourself.

Finally, get yourself a copy of the Alpha Male System and make a change for the better.

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In Anthony De Mello’s book “The Way To Love” he talks a lot about our attachment to people and things.  In particular he mentions our need to be loved by another as if we would die if they did not exist.

When we give up who we are to please another person we do what I call prostitute our being. We are no longer ourselves but instead begin to conform to what they want/expect of us. Even when we think we know what it is another person wants there are no guarantees that we will get it right so we live in constant fear of making a mistake. When you are working towards re-connecting to passion and purpose this really is no way to live.

That is no way to live and it is certainly no way to love.  I am certainly no expert on love but the one thing I have learnt from studying Mr De Mello is the fact that our attachments are the root cause of our unhappiness and at any moment we can detachment from them all and enjoy true and long lasting happiness.

Detachment doesn’t mean you give a person or thing up. You don’t have to detach from your car by selling it and giving it up because that just produces the pain of not having and even more unhappiness. But it is about recognizing that without the car you can remain happy. Without the 20 bedroom home you are still a wonderful, amazing person.

Detaching who you are from what you own is an important part of personal growth.Your make a huge mistake if you believe that who you are is based on the posessions you own.  If you earn 30,000 a month and drive a sports car then suddenly you lose your job, after a few months can’t keep up mortgage payments on your exclusive town house and lose that, the car goes next and you are left unemployed without the trappings does that make you any less important than you were when you had them?  The answer of course is no it does not.

It is an unstable state of illusion if you place all your confidence into the status that you believe a car or house will give you because it’s all relative to the situation. What does that mean?

Well imagine you live in a neighborhood where everyone drives cars worth $7,000 and you buy yourself a wonderful BMW and your car is worth $24,000. You begin the false belief that your status is above everyone and they may even believe that too. They automatically believe you must have more money than they do even if the real fact is that you bought the car on HP!

You drive around in your neighborhood and everyone looks at your car with envy. The guys all want to talk to you because they want the opportunity to get into and be seen in your car.  You are the top of the pack!

Today you decide to visit a friend. You drive to your friends house and in her neighborhood everyone drives a car to the value of $45,000 and over. Jags, convertible audis, porches, mMrcedes, they don’t even look at you as you drive up because you’re considered a ‘poor cousin’ when compared to what they drive.

Now suddenly in this neighbourhood your status means nothing… only 30 minutes ago in your own neighbourhood you were the top of the pack and now you are right at the bottom of it.

This is why placing your status in ‘things’ is so shallow and a complete waste of time…. because there will be times when it will make you feel great and other times when it won’t!  It will never help fill the void for what you are truly looking for. It provides you with an illusion of feeling great but should that stuff disappear and you lost it all you will sink into the depths of unhappiness. Plus you have to work hard to keep it, maintain it and replace it with something better.  You will worry about people stealing, breaking and ruining it and this worry will cause ill health.

When it comes to re-connecting to passion and purpose it is much easier to focus on building our inner strength that will keep you motivated. In knowing that when we spend time on our own personal growth we can get to a place of inner strength that will not be shaken in any circumstance or with any person.  We are connected with a Source of power that guides us and supports us in our goal to manifest our intentions. This ever increasing, always available, uplifting and empowering energy within you is your own greatness and when you learn to tap into it nothing and no one can stop you from feeling amazing 100% of  the time. Depending on our needs we will jump in and out of this ocean always knowing we can return and recharge at any moment because it will be there waiting for us with unconditional love.

Now isn’t that so much better than plain ole stuff!

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