Making Up Again!

More than any other factor, your quality of life depends on the quality of your communication style. If you are going to be a successful in any aspect of your Relationship, Work, and Family, then improving your communication skills will give you a real advantage.

Steps To improve Your Communication Style:

1. Watch your language, and begin washing out words commonly thought of as aggressive or inflammatory. your language will be more effective If you stick to a description of the facts (at the least the part of the facts you know),. Avoid the temptation of doing complex interpretations of others behavior or sayings. For example, try “That makes me feel bad. Why are you saying it?” instead of “You must really hate me.”
   
2. Avoid using the words “never” and “always.” They really upset the other person and put him at the deffensive. These words are obviously untrue, because you can’t see that far into the future. Using them will destroy your credibility, while unfairly denying the other’s potential for change and self-improvement.
3. Learn to listen. When an argument starts, the best thing you can do is to really listen to the other. Make a point of repeating what the other person said, perhaps adding an acknowledgement of their emotional state: “What you are telling me is that the situation in your company is so bad that you are sure your position will be terminated, and that has you in serious trouble making your house payments. I can see why you’re scared and angry.”
4. Difficult conversations require total attention. Listening validates the other, and shows that you understand, respect and care about their point of view. It encourages the other to take the next step, moving into problem-solving mode.
5. Do not avoid talking about a difficult issue. Volunteer your help by respectfully bringing up issues that are problematic, worrisome or sad. Help other people overcome denial. It is okay to say, “I realize that this is difficult for you, and I’d like to understand all the aspects of this situation… can you tell me more about how you got pregnant?”

Practicing this tips will put you on the path to master  arguments and disputes, generated either by you or by others; more control of the process and outcome of any discussion, not withstanding how difficult the issue can be.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
For more insights on dealing with your conflicts, visit Positive Conflicts and claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘

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