Making Up Again!

Probably you have had your own share of Conflicts in your life—and who hasn’t? — and as a result you may even be very reluctant to get near anything that smells of a confrontation.

It could be that you lost in a serious confrontation that left a permanent rift between you and your significant other. Or your best work friendship was killed by silly recriminations that started out of nowhere, but you did not stop.
And because of this past bad experiences, today you think that the best option you have is to simply avoid any conflict.

For example Look at this very common situation:

Your partner is stealing your ideas, and using them as if they where his, in front of people who know you too. These episodes made him look smart, leaving you feeling abused.
Because you don’t want to lose this relationship, You choose to do nothing , but you are hurt and angry inside, and all trust is gone between you two.

What is the cost of avoiding confrontation.?

Every time that you opt to escape conflict, you are sending a message the other party,that this behaviuor its ok with you. And by realizing you don’t challenge his behaviour, he will keep on doing the same things against you, just because they don’t realize how strong do you feel about it.

Self Respect is the price…

By becoming an expert in avoiding arguments, you will also need to avoid deep relationships! If you give in to other’s demands without being satisfied yourself, only to keep the peace; settling for second-best without getting your needs met, what are the consequences? Can you see your self respect being constantly eroded?

Can you be 50% Happy?

Or you could became a compromiser, a person who prefers that 50% of everything Ending up with less of what you wants and more of what you don’t want…..

How many ways are there of dealing with conflict, besides avoiding or denying it?

Or accepting a compromise, any compromise offered, so to be able to walk away from it?

At least one more choice:

You can learn how to find a fair solution for both lovers, following a clear processes for decision making in conflict.  You can became a reconciler of extremely opposite positions, that seeks that a fair compromise is reached, to the gratitude of all involved.

In short, this is what you need to know about Arguments :

• Conflicts  in relationships are inevitable.
• Although inevitable, Arguments can be denied, minimized, diverted, managed and/or resolved.
• We all face Disputes  because we are dealing with people’s lives, jobs, money, pride, self-concept, ego and sense of mission or purpose, in daily basis.
• You can train yourself to identify early indicators of a Dispute .
• Good strategies for resolution are available and DO work.
• When forced to fight by the other side, you can fight fair, and keep you self esteem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

For more insights on dealing with your relationship, visit Positive Conflicts and claim your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationships‘

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